Posts Tagged sexuality
Talking With Your Teen About Sex
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on April 11th, 2010
In a recent news story, Fox News revealed that an 11 year old girl had given birth to her first child. The doctors discussed how difficult the birth was because the child’s body had not even developed enough to give birth; she did not even have enough breast tissue to be able to nurse the child. This is an extreme situation, but teen pregnancy and sexually active teens are on the rise again, making it crucial to start talking about sex you’re your teens and younger kids now.
Talking about sex with your teen is one of the toughest conversations you will ever have, but not talking about sex with your teen is even worse. Just talking to your teens about sex, about the changes their bodies will undergo, and how to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancy, AIDS, and STDs can make a huge difference in the choices they make. Arming your teen with information by talking about sex is not condoning sexual activity.
Teens are overexposed to information about sex. Their friends talk about it at school. It’s in the advertisements they see on TV. It’s all over the Internet. You cannot prevent your teen from being exposed to sexual information, but you can create an open and honest environment in which your teen can comfortable talk with you about sex and sexuality. You may not be able to control everything they see and hear, but you can make sure they have access to accurate and complete information by talking about sex and making good choices about sex decisions.
The key to talking about sex with your teen is to not panic. Sex and sexual urges are a natural part of the human condition. The more comfortable you are with sex, the easier it will be for you to talk about sex with your teens. It is important not to be overbearing or make it a big deal. Take natural opportunities, like a shared movie or an ad you both see that makes talking about sex easier.
With more than half of all teens experimenting sexually before age 16, talking about sex should start when your teens are young and the conversation should happen more than once. You can let your teen know about your personal beliefs while still letting them know the risks they take by having unprotected sex. What you should not do is threaten your teen or make black and white ultimatums. If you tell your teen that you’ll kick her out if she gets pregnant or that you will never forgive him for having sex before marriage, you create a situation where your teen will not feel comfortable coming to you for advice or to talk when he or she is under pressure to give in to sex.
Instead, when talking about sex, help your teen gain a balanced perspective about sex and his or her own sexuality. Be understanding and forthright. Teach your teen to value his or her body and treat it with respect. Answer questions and be honest. In this day and age of immediate access to an abundance of information, telling your teen about storks and birds and bees isn’t going to cut it. By being open and honest when talking about sex, your teen will respect you and listen to you and feel comfortable coming to you when they need information.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Talking to Your Teens About Sex and Sexuality
Posted by Norbert Georget in Communication, Main Blog Posts on November 8th, 2009
It often does not take any longer that kindergarten for you to realize that it is a whole new game with raising kids, especially the first time your little angel comes home talking about the cute boy in her class or has her first boyfriend.
It’s all cute fun at that age, but it does not take long for things to become more serious. One of my friends has a child in the fifth grade who has recently started asking all of the hard questions about sex. Nine years old, and already curious. Why? Because kids have access to information and are exposed to images of sex and sexuality at younger and younger ages.
What I try to tell moms and dads is that you just cannot stick your head in the sand and pretend your kids are not curious. And, unfortunately, blaming it all on the stork no longer works in this age of instant information. In fact, the more honest and forthright you are with your child about sex and sexuality when they are younger, the easier it will be to broach the really tough topics when they get older.
When your teens and pre-teens start having questions about sex and sexuality, I promise if you aren’t the ones having conversation with them about it, somebody (friends, potential boyfriends, friends’ older siblings) is talking to them. It is better if they get their information from you.
Your approach when talking about sex and sexuality with your teen is honesty. That does not mean it has to be x-rated explicit discussion. It should be discussion that is comfortable for both of you but helps your teen get comfortable. The conversations you have should answer their questions without embarrassing them; you should not use it as an opportunity to threaten them about their behavior or accuse them of being too promiscuous or knowledgeable.
The information about sex and sexuality is all around your teen all the time. What you have to do is help your teen understand that sexual feelings are natural and normal, that how they feel is part of what makes them human. Help them understand that sex and sexuality are not taboo but there is a time and a place for it.
Talk to your teens about safe sex; no matter how much we would all like to believe it, more than one-third of all teens will have sex or have performed some kind of sex act by age 15. Let them know about the risks – the physical ones in the form of STDs and the emotional ones as well.
Use discussions about sex and sexuality as an opportunity to reinforce with your teen the choice they have to say no. Let them know that they have control of their bodies, that no one should touch them or force them to do things they are not comfortable doing. Reassure your teens that you are there for them when you need to talk – and no matter how uncomfortably squirmy you are feeling inside at having to talk to your teen about sex and sexuality, let them know it’s ok to come to you with questions.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
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