Posts Tagged relationship
Raising a Well Behaved Fun Loving Teenager – Teenage Parenting 101
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Disciplining, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on August 8th, 2010
Raising your teen doesn’t have to be an ordeal (for either of you ). You CAN learn how to enjoy a calm, peaceful, and fulfilling relationship with your teen. The ultimate method in Positive Parenting….
If you wish you knew the secrets of raising an obedient, happy, and polite teen…
…if you wish you could put an end to the arguments, anguish, and stress your teenager is causing in your home…
…or if you just wish you could get them to clean their room and fill the car with gas every now and then…
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Then you’re going to want to lock the door, take the phone off the hook, and read this page carefully.
Here’s the story….
Waltons… Or Simpsons?
Interesting question. Whether your family is like the Waltons, the Simpsons or the Bundys…
Whether you’re living in the thirteen hundreds, the eighteen hundreds or the twenty-first century, it’s never easy raising a family.
Each and every one of us though will have something in common with the mythical characters and our counterparts of yesteryear.
To go from baby to toddler to mature adult, there’s one stage all kids will definitely need to go through regardless of anything else, and that’s adolescence.
Or in other words, the teenage years. Dun-da-DAH! This is when you’re supposed to hear the music from the movie ‘Psycho‘ echoing in your head.
Okay, maybe it’s not that bad.
But ask yourself this question: is your family closer to the Waltons…or to the Simpsons?
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Which Teen Is Yours?
The anguished teenager, the rebellious teenager, the bookworm, the go getter, the jock, the cheerleader, the nerd, the mixed up one who’s not popular but has the potential…the list of teenage stereotypes is practically endless, and if you look hard enough you’ll always find a teenager that will suit one of these stereotypes.
If you look harder still though, you’ll see that some facet of their personalities will fit each and every one of these stereotypes.
So what do you do then?
Raising a teen is hard enough, if you don’t know what mold they fit into how can you proceed any further?
That’s easy really.
And answering that question is what led Vanessa Thomas to start doing the research and coming up with the answers to her own kids problems.
In the process she learned a lot of things that can be helpful to any parent struggling with a difficult (or soon-to-be- difficult teen).
She wrote all about her triumphs and strategies to parenting teenagers to becoming well behaved fun loving teenagers in her new book called….
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here for more info.
It comes in an ebook and audio book form.
In her book, Teenage Parenting 101, you’ll learn:
===> You don’t have to spend alot of money and buy your kids “Stuff” to have them turn out right.
===> You won’t need to try out any weirdo, new-age, wacko parenting stuff.
===> How you can avoid the big problems of drugs and sex.
===> It can be easier than you ever suspected to raise great kids.
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
She put all this information into a fast-reading, easy-to-follow ebook (electronic book) you can download in mere seconds from now.
Once you get a copy of this book and follow its instructions…
Your Friends Will Be Astounded
By The Change In Your Teen
Maybe your friends are accustomed to nodding wisely, clucking about how tough you have it with your teen.
They might give you lip service about how sorry they are that you’re having problems with your children.
You and I both know that in their secret heart, they are thinking, “That could never happen to my child.”
Imagine how amazed they’re going to be when your kid does a complete turn-around, thanks to what you learn in Vanessa Thomas’s book.
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
It’s about 100 pages of nothing but the solid, useful truth.
And when I say useful, I mean it!
… Just Some Of What You’ll Learn
In Teenage Parenting 101
Here’s just a little taste of what’s inside this book (which you can be reading in less than 2 minutes from now if you want)…
===> The teenage “identity crisis” - why it happens, and what you can do about it. (page 18)
===> Rebels without a clue… it’s wired into teens to rebel. But they often don’t even know why. How you can cope. (p. 19)
===> Communicating across the chasm. Simple ways you can bridge the age gap, communicate with your teen, and help them to be independent without being delinquent. (page 26)
===> The guaranteed way to keep track of your teen. Want to know who they’re with and what they’re doing? Do this, and you will always know. (page 35)
===> Facing peer pressure. Despite what your teens say, they need your help with peer pressure. You can help — if you just know how (hint: it has nothing to do with “just say no”). (page 41)
There are 3 other bonus gift items for you, plus she also has an 8 Week Unconditional Guarantee. So you can’t lose…
So if you want peace of mind in your home with your teens, along with you standing proud knowing that you did a good job with raising and developing such great fun loving teenagers, you got to check this out right now….
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
All my best,
Norbert Georget
PS. I made arrangement for you to get it at a discounted price, but only until this Saturday at midnight. So you better check it out today…
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Talking About Sex With Your Teenager
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Parenting Tips on August 2nd, 2010
Answering teen sex questions and talking about sex with your teen can be difficult, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and awkward….and that’s when it’s easy. For teens and adults, answering teen sex questions and dealing with teen sex issues can be one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. The fact is, though, that your teen probably already knows more than you could possibly imagine about sex, and what they’re really looking for from you is truth, honesty, and a sense of comfort.
Teens and kids even younger than that are exposed, not only through TV and movies but through advertisements and books and hearing kids talk in the hallways at school, to every possible sex topic. Kids can be watching the most innocuous television programming and be exposed to Viagra ads that openly discuss erectile dysfunction. If you’ve never even had the “birds and the bees” talk with your teen, that can create an entire litany of questions.
Yet teen sex and teen pregnancy are once again on the rise. In the states, the rates are increasing at a rapid rate. Experts blame the increase on the conservative right political efforts to have abstinence only education in schools. Many teens are not being taught about condoms, or are being given false information about condoms through these programs.
What your teen really needs from you is the understanding that even if both of you agree that teen sex is not something your teen should be doing and that abstinence is the best policy, that it is still possible that something could happen. Your teen needs you to arm him or her with the knowledge that using condoms does save lives, prevent STDs, and prevent unplanned pregnancy. Your teen must trust that you are the source of information that will rise above embarrassment, politics, or social pressure to be the voice of compassion, reason, and understanding.
If you have a teen, you can be guaranteed that with or without your teen’s consent, his or her body is being prepared for sexual activity. It is the way in which humans perpetuate the existence of our species…we are made to have sex. If you’re the parent of a teen, you need to be answering teen sex questions honestly and openly. Don’t stigmatize sex or make it difficult for your teen to come to you with concerns.
Since they most likely already know more than you expect, the role you play is more about building trust than actually teaching them anything about sex. Your role is to reassure them and be a safe place to turn. If you need help knowing what to say to your teen about sex, start by letting your teen know that you are there for him or her. Use opportunities like TV shows or other moments when sexual situations are portrayed to let your teen know that if he or she has questions, you’re happy to talk to them. Don’t minimize your teen’s feelings, and reassure your teen that you care. By opening the dialogue, your teen will be more likely to come to you for information than seek it from a friend at school or the internet.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
The Secret of Parenting Teens
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on July 9th, 2010
Teenagers are the most susceptible group for succumbing to the various temptations presented to them, making parenting teens effectively even tougher. What adds to the difficulty is that most teens – even the ones who exhibit good decision making ability and reason more often than not – want nothing more than independence and the ability to make their own decisions about their lives. Teens have no capacity for understanding that even though they feel completely grown up and ready to take on the world that they are not.
Parenting teens comes with a special set of challenges – and a special set of rules. I like to tell parents that in many ways, parenting teens is a lot like parenting toddlers. In both cases, you’re dealing with strong-willed, sometimes ridiculously obstinate people who are trying very hard to establish their own personality. Toddlers are just small enough we can pick them up and put them in a playpen or lay them down to take a nap when things get really difficult. It’s not so easy with teens.
Yet there are effective ways for parenting teens that can make a difference both in your relationship and in the level of stress you’re both feeling. And really, if you’ve read my book or have been reading any of my other articles, you’ll know it’s not really much of a secret: the key to parenting teens successfully is COMMUNICATION. It’s exasperating sometimes to see a loving relationship between a parent and a teen deteriorate simply because neither side is willing to listen to what the other is saying or at the very least let go of their assumptions about what the other wants. That’s where communication comes in.
As a parent, it is okay to let down your guard and tell your teen that the reason you are involved and concerned and have rules they don’t like is because you love them, you want to keep them safe, and that you want to help guide them. The problem is that instead of telling teens how we feel as vulnerable human beings, many parents instead take a defensive attitude and resort to the “Because I said so” or “Because that’s the rule of the house” response.
The minute you’ve resorted to that, you’ve lost. If you approach your teen from the viewpoint that you support the fact that he or she is quickly growing into adulthood and should start taking on more responsibility and making more decisions about his or her own life, it can help your teen see that you are not the enemy. In fact, by “teaming up” with your teen and helping him or her to reach the goals they want to reach, you can break down the barriers between you and arrive more quickly at a new place in your relationship in which you can play the role you’re meant to play at this stage: guide and mentor.
Tear down the walls between you and your teen. Let them see that you worry about them and let them know that you love them. Loosen up the hold you have and encourage your teen’s independence. Support your teen’s individuality and desire to have his own or her own life. Only then can you begin to transform your relationship into one you can both live with.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Improving Parent – Teen Relationships In Your Family
Posted by Norbert Georget in Communication, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on June 17th, 2010
Parent – teen relationships are difficult to manage at times. Parents often joke about dreading the teen years, but the joking is a sign of the real discomfort that lurks behind every thirteenth birthday and the teen relationships parents are unsure how to develop. It can be a difficult time for parents and teens, learning how to relate to each other with the new expectations and pressures that occur on both sides of the table. Parent – teen relationships are often fraught with heated emotions. Parents have difficulty handing control over to teens and teens have difficulty believing that they still need guidance and guidelines. Having teenagers definitely makes life a little more challenging.
Teenagers today have access to all kinds of knowledge – and while that knowledge gives parent – teen relationships an edge because it’s easier to see that others are experiencing the same issues and provides reassurance that both sides will survive, it also gives teens access to information that parents used to control. How, as a parent, do you manage your relationship with your teen given the access he or she has to information?
The best approach is transparency. The more direct and honest parents are with their teens, the more successful parent – teen relationships can be. Your teens are going to know about things that you did not know when you were their age. Instead of doling out information as your parents may have done with you, your role will be more of a mediator of information: it will be up to you to make sure that what information your teen is getting is followed by discussions with you that help them fit what they are seeing and learning into the larger scope of the morals and lessons you are trying to teach them.
A good example of how this can work to enhance parent – teen relationships is with movies and music. Even if you don’t allow anything but G-rated movies and music into your home, with iPods and cell phones, there is no doubt your teen will see and hear what is out there. Rather than rule with an iron fist and attempt to forbid your teen from taking part in these activities, do two things:
- Get to know the music and movies that teens are interested in so that you can make a fair judgment about the content, and
- Understand that you cannot control everything your teen sees and hears, but you can maintain open communication and help them understand that what they see and hear does not always reflect your beliefs, values, traditions, ideals, or expectations
Having frank discussions with your teens about the risks of sex, the lasting affects of drugs, the addictiveness of cigarettes and alcohol, and about treating people with respect will earn your teen’s attention and respect and improve parent – teen relationships. In study after study and survey after survey, teens are clear about what they expect from parent – teen relationships: they want the adults in their life to be straight with them, to treat them like the almost-grownup people that they are, and recognize their individuality. The more you do that, the better your relationship with your teen will be.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Turning Your Child Into a Mature Teenager
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on April 2nd, 2010
Somewhere around the time your child turns 8, 9, 10, or 11, he or she will discover that you are not the superhuman you always seemed to be. You will fall off the pedestal and become a human being with flaws, just like everyone else in the world. This is a devastating but necessary moment in every child’s life…it’s when they take their first steps toward recognizing themselves as separate individuals from you. It’s the beginning of the growing up process, one which will hopefully result in your child becoming a mature teen and a responsible, decent adult.
The struggle, of course, is getting from the point where they recognize you are simply human to the point where they are a mature teen without both of you tearing your hair out and disowning each other. In some families, this seems to happen naturally and easily, but it takes a lot more work that it might seem to from the outside to raise a responsible, mature teen, but there are some things you can do to help both of you get there in one piece.
Mutual Respect
Lots of parents complain that their teens are disrespectful, but earning a teen’s respect starts with you showing them how to be respectful. That means being respectful of your teen. It’s not easy; even a mature teen can be mouthy and critical and difficult to handle, but if you operate from a point of respect for your teen as an individual who is allowed to have different opinions and beliefs from yours, you will be helping to bring out the mature teen in your child. When you show respect, it’s easier to expect respect too.
Open, Honest Communication
Hiding behind your fears and insecurities will not help you raise a mature teen. No, it’s not easy to talk about sex, love, dating, life, choices, lying, homework, friends, driving, or anything else with the teen who is at an age where he or she feels invincible and omnipotent, but the more open and truthful you are with your teens the easier it will be for your teen to talk to you about the tough stuff. If they don’t talk to you about the challenges they face in life, you won’t have the opportunity to help guide them through each new challenge and help them learn how to handle it on their own.
Letting Go
It’s easy to just keep thinking you have to hold your teen’s hand every step of the way, but in truth, if you want to raise a mature teen, you have to let go and let your teen do some things independently, even if you can see that the end result will be something you would have wanted them to avoid. Letting go gradually can help make the process easier, but letting your teen have the ability to make choices and decisions while you are still there to help them deal with the consequences is an important part of raising a mature teen.
Keeping the Faith
There are days when you will wonder what that strange teenage being did with your son or daughter. Raising teens is difficult, and it does often feel like the child you gave birth to has been replaced by something much more terrifying. You and your teen will survive.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Raising a Well Behaved Fun Loving Teenager – Teenage Parenting 101
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Communication, Disciplining, Main Blog Posts on December 31st, 2009
Raising your teen doesn’t have to be an ordeal (for either of you ). You CAN learn how to enjoy a calm, peaceful, and fulfilling relationship with your teen. The ultimate method in Positive Parenting….
If you wish you knew the secrets of raising an obedient, happy, and polite teen…
…if you wish you could put an end to the arguments, anguish, and stress your teenager is causing in your home…
…or if you just wish you could get them to clean their room and fill the car with gas every now and then…
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Then you’re going to want to lock the door, take the phone off the hook, and read this page carefully.
Here’s the story….
Waltons… Or Simpsons?
Interesting question. Whether your family is like the Waltons, the Simpsons or the Bundys…
Whether you’re living in the thirteen hundreds, the eighteen hundreds or the twenty-first century, it’s never easy raising a family.
Each and every one of us though will have something in common with the mythical characters and our counterparts of yesteryear.
To go from baby to toddler to mature adult, there’s one stage all kids will definitely need to go through regardless of anything else, and that’s adolescence.
Or in other words, the teenage years. Dun-da-DAH! This is when you’re supposed to hear the music from the movie ‘Psycho‘ echoing in your head.
Okay, maybe it’s not that bad.
But ask yourself this question: is your family closer to the Waltons…or to the Simpsons?
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Which Teen Is Yours?
The anguished teenager, the rebellious teenager, the bookworm, the go getter, the jock, the cheerleader, the nerd, the mixed up one who’s not popular but has the potential…the list of teenage stereotypes is practically endless, and if you look hard enough you’ll always find a teenager that will suit one of these stereotypes.
If you look harder still though, you’ll see that some facet of their personalities will fit each and every one of these stereotypes.
So what do you do then?
Raising a teen is hard enough, if you don’t know what mold they fit into how can you proceed any further?
That’s easy really.
And answering that question is what led Vanessa Thomas to start doing the research and coming up with the answers to her own kids problems.
In the process she learned a lot of things that can be helpful to any parent struggling with a difficult (or soon-to-be- difficult teen).
She wrote all about her triumphs and strategies to parenting teenagers to becoming well behaved fun loving teenagers in her new book called….
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here for more info.
It comes in an ebook and audio book form.
In her book, Teenage Parenting 101, you’ll learn:
===> You don’t have to spend a alot of money and buy your kids “Stuff” to have them turn out right.
===> You won’t need to try out any weirdo, new-age, wacko parenting stuff.
===> How you can avoid the big problems of drugs and sex.
===> It can be easier than you ever suspected to raise great kids.
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
She put all this information into a fast-reading, easy-to-follow ebook (electronic book) you can download in mere seconds from now.
Once you get a copy of this book and follow its instructions…
Your Friends Will Be Astounded
By The Change In Your Teen
Maybe your friends are accustomed to nodding wisely, clucking about how tough you have it with your teen.
They might give you lip service about how sorry they are that you’re having problems with your children.
You and I both know that in their secret heart, they are thinking, “That could never happen to my child.”
Imagine how amazed they’re going to be when your kid does a complete turn-around, thanks to what you learn in Vanessa Thomas’s book.
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
It’s about 100 pages of nothing but the solid, useful truth.
And when I say useful, I mean it!
… Just Some Of What You’ll Learn
In Teenage Parenting 101
Here’s just a little taste of what’s inside this book (which you can be reading in less than 2 minutes from now if you want)…
===> The teenage “identity crisis” - why it happens, and what you can do about it. (page 18)
===> Rebels without a clue… it’s wired into teens to rebel. But they often don’t even know why. How you can cope. (p. 19)
===> Communicating across the chasm. Simple ways you can bridge the age gap, communicate with your teen, and help them to be independent without being delinquent. (page 26)
===> The guaranteed way to keep track of your teen. Want to know who they’re with and what they’re doing? Do this, and you will always know. (page 35)
===> Facing peer pressure. Despite what your teens say, they need your help with peer pressure. You can help — if you just know how (hint: it has nothing to do with “just say no”). (page 41)
There are 3 other bonus gift items for you, plus she also has an 8 Week Unconditional Guarantee. So you can’t lose…
So if you want peace of mind in your home with your teens, along with you standing proud knowing that you did a good job with raising and developing such great fun loving teenagers, you got to check this out right now….
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click here
All my best,
Norbert Georget
PS. I made arrangement for you to get it at a discounted price, but only until this Saturday at midnight. So you better check it out today…
Teenage Parenting 101 <=== Click Here
Talking With Your Teen About Date Rape
Posted by Norbert Georget in About Teenagers, Main Blog Posts on October 31st, 2009
Sometimes, words and phrases get used so much that they become too comfortable. The media gets ahold of them and they become buzz words and the meaning behind the words gets lost. Date rape sometimes seems to be one of them. In fact, I have recently heard some girls tossing around the word ‘rape’ like it is something funny. But having someone physically force you to participate in a sex act that you do not want to participate in is anything but funny.
As a parent, you need to talk to your kids about date rape. Date rape is forcible sexual activity against a person’s will by someone they know. It is common among high school and college age teens and young adults. It often goes underreported and the impact of the experience can be emotionally devastating. Date rape often occurs in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships where one partner is ready for more sexuality than the other is. It often begins with verbal pressure and harassment that often leads to physical coercion.
Yes, you should talk to your daughters and let them know that their bodies belong to them and they have the power to say no when being pressured to have sex. You should talk tothem about identifying risky situations and avoiding situations that might result in date rape (getting into a car with a boy they don’t trust, going somewhere other than they planned to go with a boy, drinking or accepting a drink they did not pour themselves).
We also need to talk to daughters about misusing the word rape in a joking manner. As devastating as it is for a girl to experience rape of any kind, it can be just as devastating for a boy to be accused of it who has not actually done anything wrong. While it is less common, we also need to talk to our daughters about respecting boys’ limits and not trying to force their boyfriends to participate in sex acts that make them uncomfortable. Date rape does happen where the female is the perpetrator.
Talking to teenage boys about date rape should be a similar conversation to the one you have with your daughters: the boys should respect the word no, no matter what has happened up to that point, but they should also have the power to say no if they feel like they are the ones being pressured. It is ok to tell your teen son that it’s ok not to have sex.
An area that may be neglected in the whole conversation is that of same sex date rape. Whether both parties are homosexual or they are just experimenting with sexuality, your teens should know that the same rules apply with same sex friends that apply with the opposite sex.
Ultimately, this topic needs to be addressed with both genders. The more we can send a consistent message of respect for boundaries, and the younger we can start addressing respect for boundaries in age appropriate ways, the better kids will be at handling the situations that arise.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Do You Know That Your Student is Safe? 3 Simple Tips to Knowing
Posted by Norbert Georget in Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on October 8th, 2009
As a parent, we worry. In high school we worry about our teen but we usually know where they are and we might have some idea of what they are doing… Or we think we know what they are doing.
When our child goes off to college, it is a little different. The young adult now decides when they go out, where they go, who they go with and what they will do. And as parents, we do not have a clue.
We have to rely on everything we taught them over the years, when we did have an influence over them. Often we ask ourselves, were they listening? Did they get anything I taught them? Are they safe?
As a parent, a child’s safety is probably one of the biggest things we worry about besides their happiness. We want our kids happy and safe. Of course we want them to be successful, healthy, smart… The big one though, is are they safe?
The parental instinct is to hover and protect but we know for the development of our children, we do need to step back and allow them to develop good decision making skills. This will come with a few lessons though which are often hard to watch.
Communication is important and can never be replaced. When college students are doing well, we often do not hear a thing. Parents develop an anxiety though because there is always that little bit of doubt. What if they are not okay? They could be sick. They could be sad. They could be in a ditch somewhere!
So what can you do as a parent to ease this anxiety? I have 3 tips that might help.
1. Set up a regular call time for speaking with your child. I would suggest a weekly call, maybe Sunday night. Have this as part of the routine. If possible this needs to be a protected time slot for both you and your child meaning that you try and make this call no matter where you are.
2. Send them an electronic card that tells you when they pick it up. You can just send them a hug via a card. It will make their day and your day. You get an email when they have picked up the card and read it.
3. EverybodyIsSafe.com offers a program that lets you know that your student is safe just with the click of a button on their computer. It also gives you some peace of mind that if they are not safe, they have identifying information on them that will quickly mobilize communication with you and anyone else you designate.
We want our college students and young adults to have a good time. As parents, our concerns can hinder their independence. Students need to experience life. This means they have to figure out many things on their own. That is how we learned; this is how they will learn. Practical learning is what sticks.
What else can you do? You might consider sending a hand written note, “Thinking about you!” sending a box of supplies and throwing in some goodies, leaving a voice mail… I encourage Dads to be equally involved in this communication. They want to hear from you too!
It is difficult to watch these youngsters do it on their own but you must trust that all your teaching will pay off. Try these simple tips so you can have some peace of mind. I encourage you to enjoy this college experience by watching your child successfully become an independent adult.
Sending your student off to college?
Get Dr. Yohn’s book, Parenting College Students: 27 Winning Strategies for Success.
———————————————————————————————————————-
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You.
For more Valuable Resources and FREE REPORTS go to:
http://whattodo-disrespectfulteen.com/ for help with a Disrespectful Teen
http://howtostopmyabusiveteen.com/report/ on how to code with an Abusive Teen
http://howtomotivatemylazyteen.com/ on what to do with a Lazy Teenager
Teens, Families and Feelings
Posted by Norbert Georget in Communication, Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on September 28th, 2009
My kids and I had been down in Sarasota, FL visiting my mom, and we were driving back to the airport to catch our plane back to Boston. This required us to drive over the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, a dramatic and -for me- SCARY bridge. The kids, about 6 and 8 years old, were thrilled that as we were about to cross the bridge a large cruise ship was about to go underneath it at the same time.
They didn’t notice my white knuckles as I gripped the steering wheel or the terror on my face; they were busy calculating the timing of the ship vs our clearing the top of the bridge. As their excitement grew so did their exclamations – and my terror. You see I was remembering the 1980 disaster when that bridge was hit by a tanker and 35 people died. I didn’t want to tell them of my terror or of the disaster. I was trying to hold myself together and just drive. I’m not happy to report that ultimately I lost control of my emotions. I exploded and shouted at them to settle down. My kids were shocked. They hadn’t even been aware that I was afraid.
Feelings drive our behavior. They drive our responses and reactions. Feelings are neither good nor bad; however we do need to learn appropriate ways to manage them and express them.
How does your family express emotions? Are they expressed? Are they valued? Talked about? Are there some feelings that are not allowed? This is an important topic because your teen’s emotional world deserves validation, respect and nurturing. His emotional health depends on it. And so does yours.
Too often, in the name of teaching appropriate behavior and guiding our kids they hear a message we may not really mean – that certain feelings are not okay. We may say “Don’t feel that way!” or communicate that certain feelings won’t be tolerated by us. Actually, it’s important to let your teen know that all feelings are legitimate and okay. The feelings aren’t the problem, it’s the behavior they drive that may need your guidance.
What does feeling our emotions do for us? For starters we must know how we feel in order to be able to fill our emotional needs. We must communicate how we feel in order to get the emotional support and understanding we need from others. Your teenagers need your support in developing their emotional literacy.Let’s discuss why this is important.
Name that feeling: When you let your teen know that all feelings are okay, they are more likely to develop an emotional vocabulary that will help them gain an insight into their inner world. This is vitally important. Ask your teen to name the feeling; identify it, and sit with it. Ask yourself honestly if your teen gets the message that feelings are okay or if there are some you will not tolerate.
No instant gratification here: One important life lesson that all teens must learn is that their desire for instant gratification won’t always be met. In fact, life comes with difficulties, challenges and situations that cause uncomfortable feelings. Not everything gets settled nicely. Sometimes we need to learn to live with ambiguity and discomfort. Teach your kids that they can feel these feelings, and live with them. That is part of life. I’m reminded of this daily in my meditation practice, and happy to report that we have the capability to develop remarkable coping skills when we have the intention and desire to do so.
Validate your child’s feeling If you let your child know that certain feelings are not allowed, you are telling your child in some way that s/he is not very important. Sometimes all a person needs is to be seen as they are; recognizing that your teen is feeling a certain way may provide all she needs to move on. Additionally, by legitimizing these emotions you have the opportunity to talk about them, and guide your kids to appropriate expressions and behavior. Teach your kids to explore their feelings, and to tune into them as a form of self-guidance. Certainly our emotions teach us a lot about the world around us.
Unexpressed feelings undermine relationships and emotional healthFeelings that remain underground can eat away at us – I daresay most adults have had this experience. With depression amongst our teenagers at virtually epidemic levels, teaching them to tap into and respect their feelings is a fundamental lesson.
Use feelings to open and enhance communication As you traverse and manage the inevitable challenges with your teenagers, bring the emotions out on the table. Ask your teen how she is feeling; allow him the chance to express himself. Share how you are feeling in simple “I” sentences. Let your teens know that all feelings are allowed. When feelings are expressed you’ll have the opportunity to see where mis-communication has occurred; you’ll benefit by clearing the air and getting past erroneous assumptions. Help your teen build her emotional vocabulary and not be afraid of intense feelings.
Sue Blaney is a communications expert, speaker, author and publisher who is dedicated to enhancing communication and dialogue between parents and teens. She is the author of the nationally acclaimed book and discussion group program titled Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride.
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Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You.
For more Valuable Resources and FREE REPORTS go to:
http://whattodo-disrespectfulteen.com/ for help with a Disrespectful Teen
http://howtostopmyabusiveteen.com/report/ on how to code with an Abusive Teen
http://howtomotivatemylazyteen.com/ on what to do with a Lazy Teenager
What Are the Effects of Single Parenting? – Surviving As a Single Parent
Posted by Norbert Georget in Main Blog Posts, Parenting Tips on August 27th, 2009
There are studies on top of studies depicting the horrible, poverty stricken, drug laced life a single-parent child will inevitably face. Whether it is father-only homes, or mother-only homes, we hear of the awful challenges destined to fill the lives of these poor children. Are the reports really true? What are the real effects of single parenting?
The Effects of Single Parenting on the Parent
Stressful is the first word most used to describe the life of a single parent But what are the actual effects of single parenting on the parent? Whatever situation has brought them to this point of being solely responsible for the care and upbringing of a child is already stressful in itself. Add to that the responsibilities of paying bills, working full-time or going to school, and then dinner, dishes and baths at the end of the day can leave a parent emotionally and physically drained. A single parent faces challenges that two-parent families can’t imagine. A very true example is one of the single parent becoming ill. All that is required of the family is still required. The children still need to eat, to go to school, to get to football practice and gymnastics class. They still need help with the homework and getting their clothes ready for the next day. The single parent has no one to fill in, to help. Health issues can certainly become a part of the difficult equation of single parenting, again, escalating the level of stress and the ability to meet the needs of the children. The biggest difference between men and women as single parents is that most fathers worry about being able to “keep in touch” with their child; being able to meet their emotional needs. Mothers stress over being able to meet the needs of her 9 to 5 and the needs of her family.
The Effects of Single Parenting on the Children
Social problems, lower academic achievement, and unacceptable behavior are just a few of the issues that our teachers face on a day to day basis more so with children from single-parent homes than not. The stress level of these children is astronomical. Our educational system expects these children to come to school and leave their home life behind, and with that expectation brings added stress levels in children too young to handle it, which in turn, returns home with them at the end of the day.
These children can suffer from everything from depression to psychosis. Not solely because a mother or father is absent from the home, blame cannot lie wholly upon this situation, but the effects of single parenting can and have definitely influenced the life and living of men and women well into their adult lives, and sadly enough, into their own families as well.
What Can be Done?
It is so very important for single parents to reach out for help. Churches, hospitals and doctors, and yes, even Child Welfare offices have the resources to help with the stresses, both emotionally and physically, that go with the responsibilities of raising children alone. But it’s up to the parent to realize and acknowledge that they need help, to realize that they aren’t alone in the fight to keep their family happy, healthy, and together. Admitting that help is needed is not an admission of failure, but of life; a life of hope and love and success for the parent as well as the children.
Wendy Pan is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about effects of single parenting , please visit New Tough Parenting for current articles and discussions.
For more Valuable Resources and FREE REPORTS go to:
http://whattodo-disrespectfulteen.com/ for help with a Disrespectful Teen
http://howtostopmyabusiveteen.com/report/ on how to code with an Abusive Teen
http://howtomotivatemylazyteen.com/ on what to do with a Lazy Teenager
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www.My-Out-Of-Control-Teen.com <--> CLICK HERE
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