It does not take long to reach your boiling point when you have a disrespectful teen. Whether they ignore you, talk back, or simply refuse to go along with house rules, you can quickly find yourself raising your voice, becoming completely exasperated, or even wanting to quit your job as a parent. It sometimes seems like teenagers know just what buttons to push to send you over the edge.
If you have a disrespectful teen, you do not have to give up. In fact, there are some very quick behaviors you can start practicing that will help stop disrespectful behavior once and for all. While not all of these practices will work in every situation or with every teen, if you are at your wit’s end with your disrespectful teen, it is worth giving these practices a try.
Learning to Walk Away
Often, as parents, you might feel as though you are obligated to remain engaged with your teen no matter what. Whether you feel you have to have the last word or you have to keep pushing until your teen acknowledges your point, you may be suffering through more disrespectful behavior than you need to.
If you are having a conversation (argument) with your teen and frustrated about the way the conversation is going, or if you do not want to allow the conversation to escalate into an argument, then you have to learn that it is ok to walk away. If your disrespectful teen is attempting to engage you in an argument or trying to get his or her way on something, firmly and quietly repeat your decision, then let them know you will not continue the conversation, and walk away. Even if you have to leave the room, lock yourself in your bedroom, and jog in place to burn off the frustration, it is better than continuing to engage your teen on that level.
Tie Privileges to Behavior
You owe your teen a roof over his or her head, food to eat, and your love. Everything else (cell phones, video games, internet access, cable, free time with friends, money for the dance on Friday night, dating, a car, etc) are all EXTRAs. It might not seem like that sometimes, but if you start recognizing that each of the items your teen holds dear is most likely a want and not a necessity, then you can offer your disrespectful teen a choice. If your teen chooses to treat you and the other members of your family with respect and follow the house rules, then there will be privileges to have. If your teen chooses to behave disrespectfully, that behavior is a demonstration of a lack of maturity and privileges can be denied or removed from the teen’s life.
Following Through
In order for these tips to work, you have to be willing to follow through. You cannot just threaten to take away your disrespectful teen’s cell phone; if the behavior continues, you actually have to do it. No, you do not have to wrestle the phone out of your teen’s hand. Simply call the company and suspend the service. You will make your point, and in most cases, your disrespectful teen will choose respect over lack of privilege.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You.
For more Valuable Resources and FREE REPORTS go to:
http://whattodo-disrespectfulteen.com/ for help with a Disrespectful Teen
http://howtostopmyabusiveteen.com/report/ on how to code with an Abusive Teen
http://howtomotivatemylazyteen.com/ on what to do with a Lazy Teenager
#1 by Jamie Panama on February 4th, 2010
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